Chris I am sorry. We were codependent though. That is all. Thank you for your time.

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Purpose of being atheist for 4 years: Make everyone think I am really smart! Read all the cool science books and know lots. Capture people with my charisma, natural charm meanwhile I am still a nasty Wiccan underneath. Become polite and take up 0 space but all the while remaining a passionate Secularist. It was funny to be honest. My ex gave me the tools for this exercise, I didn’t choose them.

Someone who chooses Moral relativism and gets concussed without noticing does not have the capacity to understand things until they practiced them. That is autism. So I practiced being Secular. I went to the groups I talked about atheism and I learned. It is a nice story but it isn’t my Story. I am a Wiccan Merchant with Social Philanthropy features.  You overstepped my boundaries so I stepped in to your shoes to learn your language.  Has your wish come true? ūüôā 

I am sorry I slandered you entirely falsely. I am sorry I was a wolf in sheep’s clothing and I am sorry about the toxic thing that happens when a Marketer listens closely to his highly intelligent and over-opinionated ex. What would I need to know about Psychology as a Marketer? Only the stuff that adds to my own enigma. I didn’t think to protect every opinion and every debate in confidence… Partially because YOU PISSED ME OFF ABOUT MY FAITH!

You need to stay away please & thank you. Wiccan Spiritualists are of the crazy ex-boyfriend breed. To quote Bray Wyatt from WWE “RUN!” 

We were Codependent you aren’t going to get anything nice from me.

Every book is a tool for me. Every notion of the sense of self a myth. My website is organic growth and it has been on a growing cult of personality among the creative. Just don’t come back, please. I wish you good fortune.

A good song

Locks are installed

Locks are installed

Ashton Deroy Writes: My campaign for bedroom door locks is over readers. As of February 7th 2020 me and the female tenant I have referred to have had locks installed on our doors. We are now sleeping through the night more soundly & I am more sure now that my life’s work will be protected. I don’t know if you have caught on by now, but a adversarial Public Relations campaign is not a first choice move I like to go to.

This was a move I went to after having exhausted options of discussion. Despite the success of the locks campaign I will still be changing addresses March 31st 2020. I don’t think it is wise to live under the rental of a property management company that needs so much opposition to hold up bare minimum legal rights. I say this, thankful they completed the lock installation but weary of the future.

As a result the legal matters between Jango Property Management, Jamie Macari & I will be moved out of the public spot light. I have moved the prior blog articles/branding to a safe storage. I have also stopped my claims to Air BnB & Municipal bylaws. Thank you to my readers & anyone in the community who may of helped with our cause. We truly could not of effected change without a community that is engaged & paying attention to our web space.

You guys are the best!

Sincerely

 

Ashton Deroy

3 red flags you will see with a cheater

3 red flags you will see with a cheater

Ashton Deroy Writes:

This is a conversational blog. Not a blog of authority or academic article. 

Are you codependent? I am, plain & simple. Let me re-phrase. Do you over rely on your partner even if they are sick, mentally ill or an addict? That is co-dependence. Too many people with this psychological issue don’t understand what is going wrong with them. It¬† keeps them from leaving a partner who cheats, hurts them & mistreats them. I was codependent and I still can over rely on times towards the wrong friends.¬†

One of the things I am seeing a lot of on #Codependence on Instagram is people complaining about cheaters. They tend to say stuff like cheaters cheat to hurt you, cheaters are sociopaths and cheaters are basically scum of the earth! Okay stop, listen if cheating has been a form of consistent abuse you experience. I am not saying you deserve it. I am just saying you always knew it was there on some level! Regular people don’t get cheated on as a lifestyle! People who overly cling to their love interests, practice a lack of boundaries & are attracted to narcissists are naturally going to attract cheaters. You also see it to people who are magnets to dysfunctional relationships because of a lack of mental health resources.¬† Here are 3 red flags to spot a cheater & avoid them if that is what you choose.¬†¬†

  1. Cheaters have no boundaries – I have experienced my first boyfriend hitting on my brother. I’ve seen the same kinds of people who cheat also do stuff like get minors overly intoxicated. Cheaters sometimes are exactly what we say, people of low moral character. If you are well read & have a strong moral character. This is something you should be able to pick up on. It is one thing when a girl dates a fuckboy or a boy dates a party girl. It is another thing when people are telling them “That is their entire identity” but the victim of cheating refuses to listen or uses denial. By the way if you use denial to view your fuckboy or party girl in a better light. You are not an innocent victim! You literally should of picked up on this the first time your friends told you.¬†
  2. Cheaters are not programmed for monogamy – In this case I do not blame the cheater as much. When someone asks for an open relationship? Clearly monogamy is not going to be a long term solution for this person. This doesn’t mean you can’t still have a healthy relationship. However if you say no but continue to try to posses your partner exclusively and then they still go forward & cheat. I really do blame the person cheated on. On some level in this scenario the cheater is taking responsibility for themselves while trying to maintain the relationship. The person who says no to the open relationship is experiencing denial and using a closed mind. Not using any foresight whatsoever. This was a scenario of forced monogamy. You said no to the relationship that would work better for this person & kept them in a relationship that best benefited you. Recommended reading, Zhana Vrangalova Ph.D. asks are people in open relationships happier?¬†
  3. Cheaters often use romantic rejection & withdrawn affection as weapons for control –¬†This is something I kind of blame the person cheated on for. Your romantic partner rejected you in the very beginning. All it made you do was want to chase them harder! It isn’t romantic it is creepy, obsessive and you are saying I am open to be controlled and victimized. Not only that but the heavy pursuit of the desired mate whom rejected you is an attempt at pushing your monogamy on them. It is time to withdraw your pursuit of someone when they reject you. That is just the sane thing to do! When a partner withdraws affection? You don’t keep the relationship going, you try to use your time to resolve it and if it can’t be done. You have to move on.¬†

Listen I honestly do not blame cheaters for everything because it is not all honestly their fault. Cheaters attract codependent, clingy and even unhealthy partners. Sometimes cheaters get together with people who were more interested in them than the other way around. Cheaters pleas for open relationships and or loosened relationships often go unheard. Lastly cheaters tell you early on with rejection this isn’t going to work. Whether the initial rejection is slight or direct, take it as a sign and move on.¬†

Thank you for reading my blog.

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Talking about a family narcissist. Ashton Deroy

Codependency

Ashton Deroy Writes: Have you ever met someone so pig headed, they would let you criticize our public banking system before they let you criticize them for having, for example $8,000 in debt? That would be the case for me in dealing with one of my family’s narcissists. What is a narcissist?¬†¬†

Narcissist

Some people think I qualify as a narcissist because I write blogs. However I don’t think the world runs around me & as I will point out to anyone who spends enough time with me, I hate myself. However I am talking about someone who is so truly delusional in narcissistic¬† behaviors, I could at times buy in to what they said. Although that has faded over time. Now I am mesmerized by the display of constantly unhealthy behavior, while keeping a healthy distance and doing some healthy introspection on top of it.¬†

Ever met a couple where one of the people in the couple has a sole purpose of making sure the other doesn’t crash the car well drunk? This reminds me of this narcissist’s girlfriend or sometimes the “enabler”.¬† The thin line of co-existence & codependency is met by the fact he has interfered with her ability to keep a job, take care of her daughter & function. Meanwhile when she had a job and he didn’t he have no¬†problem asking her for the money for weed. I repeat, “enabler”. I said, I use them to introspect and this is partially why I don’t want my boyfriend to buy me weed.¬†

How to distance yourself from the narcissist? 

  • Lie– When they call? Say you have stuff to do.
  • Tell Harsh truths- Just as effective as lying because when the narcissist has taken too big a blow on their ego they will back off. (If they are not violent)
  • ¬†Don’t let them control the schedule– They always want to suck you back in to their world. Always state why you are busy or indifferent to their plans.¬†

I use all of these tips to deal with the family narcissist because getting sucked in is not an option. 

Three things we can’t really say to this family narcissist:¬†

  • You need a job – You are behind on your bills and can’t afford food half the time. Again you have $8,000 in debt.¬†
  • Go get medical help – You have serious mental health and addictions issues. Yet you do not address them¬†
  • Treat your mother & sister with respect – How is it you have slut shamed one & called the other a whore?

Anyways I saw this narcissist last night in Stirling Ontario & as of now at Loyalist College. I am glad it is over. 

 

Check out the Narcissist’s Dilemma written by Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. Published October 12th 2011.¬†

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201110/the-narcissists-dilemma-they-can-dish-it-out