I am the Autistic Ostrich

I am the Autistic Ostrich… Here is what is wrong with me!

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Okay so guess who was empowered by me seeking mental health treatment when I explicitly didn’t ask for it? It was not me the sexual assault victim who bravely moved on. It was not me the victim of amnesia who can’t count on their family. It was my ex, it was my family and it was my old job.

In this essay I am going to outline the stuff I don’t want to talk about on a usual basis. This way people can understand that mental health is not a 1 size fits all solution. In fact if you look in to my record at Quinte Health where I see a counsellor usually, it actually wasn’t supposed to be the solution at all. Why wasn’t this the solution?

Self-Esteem Questionaire:

  1. Do you like yourself as you are? No, what has given me the reason to like myself as I am? The fact that I am smart. Yet my Dad still agreed to have me verify my sexual assault in his separation. The fact that every boyfriend I have ever had has taken control or insulted my mental health. Yet I just keep hoping to fall in love. Yep I am the damaged one. Barely functioning 5 ft 9 rape victim Ashton Deroy takes the blame again. I might of scared people including family & even Kaylib Drury. I will take full blame for that. Do they take full blame for what they do? The fact that there is no Multiculturalism in our family so I am sad. The fact that I am a target for argumentation and debate. Or the fact that I require help from family that I do not receive.
  2. Should people be relatively grateful to have me in their lives? This is what makes mental health such a dumb and worthless occupational field. People either demonstrate they appreciate having you around. Or they do what Liam Hennessy did the entire time I dated him and gaslight me, calling me crazy and screwed up! I was actually approached by Liam Hennessy and asked to charge a person he claimed sexually assaulted him. Even though I never had that same experience.
  3. This is me yesterday lost in my own mind and struggling to get family help in the rain.
  4. If I didn’t know me? I’d think I was okay. No I wouldn’t think I am okay. I am a gay bash victim, a victim of mental manipulations and a rape victim. If I didn’t know me… I would see me behaving how I do and according to popular opinions. I would think I was and I quote “Still fucked up!” Liam Hennessy in regards to special needs people. (By the way I have never called Liam Hennessy out for abusing me. The rush is exhilarating!”)
  5. Growing up was I given the feeling that I properly deserve to exist? Does your Step brother Shane Fraiser repeating the phrases “Sped!” , “Retard.” & “Kill yourself” count? Sarcasm (Entertainment for stupid people) >> If so I was totally given the right to exist.
Meryam Haddad Sustainability Girl

The only idea I would agree to traumatic anxiety wise. After gay bash, after rape and after manipulative torture. I need hugs but they aren’t going to be found anymore because Kaylib Drury left and he was the only person I wanted them from. I need to enjoy cake with my friends… Even though I have brutally transitioned by routine so many times I don’t know who they are anymore. I want to enjoy arts & culture with Ashley…  I don’t believe in a better future because I have never been shown properly the possibility of one.  The proof is in how I got mental help. I was dumped and had all my stuff moved to the Napanee Police. I had seizures in the rain yesterday and still wanted to talk to Kaylib Drury because I missed him.

I get my passive aggressiveness tested even though I said not to because if aggressiveness is triggered I won’t be able to stop it. So I try to be passive and nice hoping that someone will take that for what it is. The fact that I want to learn, love & be cared for. However, I keep getting told somehow… Some way!!! The answer is going to be in seeking psychological help. I am happy to be where I am because I no longer trust the people I am supposed to love.

I have no culture anymore… I have no home… I have no lighter… I have no weed… Why do you think I would choose this help willingly? I have nothing to go back to when I am done. Furthermore I am of the opinion that ODSP is a crutch for families who don’t want to better their financial wellbeing and force independence on self-identified interdependent autistic people with poor self-regulation. This isn’t the help I need. It is the help being forced on me. That is what my mental health professionals told me a long time ago when I self-submitted complex trauma .

Open check and balance. Fiverr, Another notable Performance. by Hadiqakhursheed.

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Some will think this was fixed with the announcement of my Co-op. It really wasn’t & this really happened. I don’t mind increasing someone’s market value as a result and decreasing another to honor Marketplace style competition.

In this pitch for my Business, I had the users on Fiverr compete with their ability to use empathy. I did not discuss this with them before I did it. This was an experiment so as to not taint the results I was just was Advertising & Marketing Communications Ashton Deroy from Loyalist College. The person whose family is going to work to start a web design workers’

Business Model: Co-op as a Non-profit to develop small Marketing agencies around the world to start. However, we will bridge our design as we scale, and traffic increases. As well we will begin to sell ad space, content, and research by negotiation at Ashtonderoy@gmail.com . I want to get the shop up but with the concussion, I am worried about all the jibberish I would put in it. I type like a nervous cat. The grammar checker is just getting everything.

Size of account: $14 << This is being disclosed as per Feminism for the 99% . I did not want to pay anyone less based on product cost, gender, or nationality.

Was the content stolen by Canadian Copyright Standards? I understand the concern and I am nervous to check but I will check. I want to be moral but I also don’t want to start my experiment by firing a writer. CBC Marketplace has me thinking the worst. I am hopeful for better. 

Product: Content writing

Hadiq

The Content Pros

Summary of competing for the account:

Condescention

This is an egalitarian establishment that supports Sustainability missions and politeness as of now. The Content Pros Immediately loses. 

Ironically stating,“AMERICA FIRST, AMERICA FIRST, AMERICA FIRST!” 

Personal Bias: I believe Americans on Fiverr are some of the despicable prejudice and incompetent workers I have ever worked with.  Whereas Pakistan has Fiverr users who are competent, experienced ex tech support people, ex call center workers. In other words, We have probably transferred calls to each other in another life. Or in another insanely organized efficiency company with a track record of negligence to employee wellbeing. (Opinion summary of the Democratic Call Center category on this website.) How does my Socialism impact my culture? I am becoming alienated from the bosses and more concerned about the long term wellbeing of people at my income level. We are suffering.   In Pakistan her conditions may differ, I won’t ask and will never ask. I just appreciated the kindness. I can’t wait to read what she wrote for me but I think I will keep the final product for myself. Just in case it isn’t copyrighted safe. Fiverr sometimes is like that and I don’t want to fire a writer just yet. It would be a sad opening exercise of my operation to fire a writer. Maybe 2-3 posts down the line. I will have to face honesty of obligation to research and data collection. However, it seems like poor leadership practices to alienate someone in their first week. I would take that as a personal moral judgment of myself in practice.

I don’t understand the prejudice of Islam religions. hadiqakhursheed won on the simple principle of empathy. I will read what she wrote as well but ultimately she gave me this Pitch process and chance to test out a Pitch format that I will give paragraph headings to and store for later experimental Research releases for Fiverr.

Disclosure:

I will live on through my words after my death. My spirit will live on through my website & the after life screams of antagonized cats. “This is the bad place” . I was a utilitarian and conciously planned this trick with my moral authority.

Fair Dealing is an exception in the Canadian Copyright Act that permits the use of other people’s copyright protected work without permission or payment for the purpose of research, private study, education, satire, parody, criticism, review or news reporting” I share this because I am a believer in free speech.

Winning writer Description

Description

hadiqakhursheed I am a proficient writer with unique writing skills. I can write engaging content and can handle research writing with accuracy and efficiency. I am comfortable with almost every niche. I can write to satisfy whoever is interested in getting a good write-up to be it a blog post, articles, scripts and academic writing that has to do with creativity. What is worth doing, is worth doing well they say… Just give it a try and get the best write up ASAP.

https://library.carleton.ca/find/images/copyright-fair-dealing-and-images#:~:text=Fair%20Dealing%20is%20an%20exception,criticism%2C%20review%20or%20news%20reporting.

Do you want to not promote your page? Email me at Ashtonderoy@Gmail.com 

Retrieved June 09, 2020, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9t2I-rSpNg.

 

LinkedInn Link. As a Socialist, I am supporting a Dignified Work experience on Fiverr.

Connect with Ashton Deroy on LinkedInn

Democratic Capitalist Rules of the Co-op:

Dignified work means a work environment free from harassment, sexism and torment through deliberation.(different countries have different copyright standards. We will either end up being copyright compatible or we won’t. This is the first pitch in Marketing terms.)
Welcome to the Co-op.

 

How a Spiritualist Wiccan shames prejudice
“I am a Wiccan of her majesty’s commonwealth. Do you have an issue with the english? Do you have an issue with the French?  The fact we have first nations siblings not related by blood? HOW DARE YOU!”BlacklivesMatter]
I am autistic and I want to learn and Progress. Email me at Ashtonderoy@gmail.com for any and all necessity education. 

Wiccan Family Business
This was after an American User-made it very clear I was not welcome in their shop for being First Nations related. After sending me a Reddit Strain with the title Slave Labour. “Excuse me?!” Do you think a Wiccan finds that flattering? I am a Traditionalist of the Wiccan Spiritualist faith with a British Heritage. I wanted to smack the bastard with the back of my hand for showing such belligerent hate. But I turned the other cheek and said I worked in Market Research and I would leak his username to the public.  I am competitive to a fault. thecontentpros on Fiverr

Why I became a Socialist through Business classes?

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I wish to stumble into my beliefs of Liberal Socialism was a phase. That way it could be just a mindset I could quit. I could leave it and the planet would be fine, median incomes wouldn’t be down and the neighboring Head of State wouldn’t be a dictator. Could you imagine such a world? 😀 “That is the most Utopic thinking you will get from me today.” :/ 

This may be surprising to people. I actually don’t think Business & Finance people are the fascist capitalists’ people think. You have a hard time learning about an unsustainable investment, financial, and environmental economy. Then pretending everything is alright with some Grant Cardone style motivational Capitalism. Not a hater, I bought a book of his. I just love using him in my jokes because the guy is so damn cheesy. “I vote my business.” Grant Cardone. Got to love self-help idiots. When we want answers? They give us silly.

The problem is I don’t want to throw out the system of Capitalism. Not at all. I want to throw out the uncompromising stupidity related to the political and philosophical ideologies related to capitalism. That is what is ruining the execution of the system in the proper manner. We have character problems and problems in how we view the environment. We don’t have a Private Property problem. We don’t need to screw up agriculture. We need to fix it. Listen I wouldn’t let a Communist screw up my access to food & water. I won’t let an oil-loving Capitalist do it either!

Anyways I am not a Capitalist. I am a Liberal Socialist. I don’t have time for grandiose Business bull****. As for strong centralized authoritarian governments like in Communism? I don’t think so Kingston Ontario! I don’t want to go through this rampant disease (Coronavirus) again because some idiot doesn’t know to use Bats in their stupid traditional medicine market. Or something environmentally stupid along those lines! Again I don’t care if you are a Capitalist or a Communist. Neglecting our environment is insane! Mixing the Social Concerns of Socialism with the innovative Capitalist values of Liberalism makes sense. It is a compromise that works.

I help with Business planning. Or Social Media Marketing. Email me at Ashtonderoy@gmail.com . Check out our Fiverr page.

Bitch to me if needed, I am an ethical friend.

Bitch to me if needed

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This post will be censored with more ethical language in a bit*** . I do want it to break through though that I take Civility, mental health, and #SuicideAwareness seriously.

Since completing a Business Diploma while looking at Social & Sustainability issues. Then getting trained in CannSell and SmartServe as well as Suicide Prevention. I now believe I can be an ethical friend for someone.

So if you want to talk about mental health. We can talk. Just know I will behave ethically in Conversation. To some people this a calming thing. To have a friend behave a moral guide. I have had multiple moral guides as friends. I do believe it is something we can do for each other that helps to make the world a better place. 

Also, shout out to my Grandma. I think mental health dialogues were an idea I got from my Grandma Pat. Anyways I find moral friends to be a calming concept. I always mention my love for some of the Mormon culture in my family. I do think the Mormon religious culture was where I developed some of my Community & moral values. Even if some of it evolved with my academic life. 

Email me at Ashtonderoy@gmail.com if you need to talk. 

3 horrible truths of the broke entrepreneur

Dedicated to: Loyalist College Students.

From: Ashton Deroy, Failed Web design Entrepreneur. 

Intro: You should not become an Entrepreneur. Let us face it the sad truth is you went to Loyalist College because you had no idea what to do for your seven-year plan. Chances are you still don’t have a seven-year plan. Why would you start risking your own time & money here? Here are 3 reasons not to be an Entrepreneur. Most successful mid-corps were started/maintained by a family with an already existing body of wealth. I learned this working for Greenwich Associates a financial research & consulting firm where I interviewed CEOs, CFOs, and Presidents of mid-corp organizations.

  1. You are not your own boss – It is not fun to say but someone usually has leverage in business & it often is not the person selling products or services. It can be your supply chain people, your bill collectors, the people you applied for a grant with or even your customers. Ever worked in a call center? Those are communications jobs designed to manage B2C & B2B relationships. Those jobs suck… Why would you want to do that 16 hours a day instead of 10 hours a day for less money?
  2. Being broke – Most entrepreneurs need to borrow & use their own capital to even get to the market but there are no guarantees. Our markets are saturated with products & services as well as substitutes that eliminate opportunities. In the case of my business, a lot of professional communications jobs are eliminated by self-service digital marketing services. This includes logo generators, Kijiji & Facebook.
  3. Hating what you do – Multiple times I have quit my digital marketing business. Even after gaining momentum and gaining contacts. You can fall down 100 times & it does become discouraging. I am a natural sales person but it doesn’t mean rejection doesn’t slow me down. Rejection slows down everyone. 

Listen if you are a Business student in college. You are probably being given a lot of hype for starting your own company. Don’t fall for it! Be an opportunist, not a dead-set entrepreneur. Here is a cliche I love, “Work smarter, not harder.” If working smart means a 9-5 with a pension and a pain in the a** boss. That is fine. There is no shame in being someone’s b****! 

swan whispers public relations

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