#AutismOblivious Families

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No matter how much certain families try. They will never achieve Autism Awareness. Why do I say this? Well as an Autistic person with Non-voting, non-active and Autism oblivious parents. I feel I have suffered an undue hardship.

I get more pressure for independence than I do help for survival. That is not autism awareness. It is a state of autism delusion that some families have. For example with my brother Matt when they sent him to the army. Most Autistic people should not be posted in Cold Lake Alberta where they submit to social isolation because it leads to drastic regression.

We can not pretend to be sophisticated about autism. While at the same time neglecting our community issues as soon as a pandemic is around. This is how I failed another living situation! This is also part of why Matt continues to live a very unfulfilling life. Some autistic people will never achieve full independence. In which case the idea of it must be dismissed.

I love my step Mom Tracy. Sometimes though she deserves an award for Autism oblivious. Why on earth did you think your son was a good fit for the army? I have always thought that many families have some kind of severe delusional detachment to suggest this solution.

The Pressure also arises from unfair expectations of independence and the idea for example that I as an autistic person can get my healthcare wherever I am. I can not… I need specific healthcare professionals under specific terms. Today my Dad showed a complete disregard for that in not printing my Medical Directive for the clinic.

Why my step mom isn’t allowed to do autism aware with me and she should probably stop all together? I think she uses it more as a leash than as a tool. I apparently surpass her autism awareness for miles. The fact that I knew how to treat autism + concussion shows me Matt must of had a hard childhood. Give your damn son some CBD when he goes off woman!

Let’s face it. The way my parents manage us. I have to go in alone if I go in by Autism Aware standards. There is just no way to make that livable. On top of that my Dad is either still considering what I am saying or ignoring it all together. For that I am just at the point where if I am ignored I will treat myself but I will give up on family unity. I am way more interested in the early commitment stages of my 2 year relationship showing themselves .This doesn’t mean I wasn’t Autism aware since 10. I am saying in regards to my family it doesn’t make a difference. They are just expecting me to act “normal”. Which I find? Just terribly pathetic.

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544 Victoria St, Kingston Ontario. The Weird communal living arrangement.

 

Ashton Deroy writes: Imagine a place with 5 bedrooms rooms, 1 living room, 1 kitchen and 1 bathroom. Now imagine living there with 3 other full time tenants and also 2 possible guests for an Air B&B or 1 other part time tenant. Now imagine the 2 months of headaches that follows. It is an environment of rotating bodies, too much closeness & the flashing thought of  “Hey who is that random person?”

To perceive a place such as this is to perceive a very fast approaching headache. It is establishing a goal for 3 people who are complete strangers to also live in a harmony of arbitrary rules & regulations. Needless to say what ever Jango Property Management is trying to do. It is psychotically unstable  with such a small shared communal living environment.

Lets face it all that plus the small space, lack of appropriate boundaries & the fact truth be told the 3 full time tenants had huge personalities was a track guaranteed for disaster. In fact you could easily write a book filled with conflicts to fill it. Like that book this house was filled with disaster scenarios. We had constant conflict. Also an entire lack of normalcy. There is something inherently about the top description paragraph I used that seems either like it is all part of some psychotic math question or a plan for dystopic future communal homes.

Facts are facts. Not everyone in the home needs a social life. However some people really should get them. Even if it means exhausting the effects & negative symptoms of over night guests. It took a little bit realize that there were only two possible reasons for a home to act under social contracts in this manner. This is either some kind of religious cult house. Or there are some serious lacking interpersonal Social Skills in this house that prevent people from forming adult interpersonal relationships. As usual the answer was a bit of both.

To people who read this blog… I am getting kind of tired of being exposed to uncivilized types who don’t live by a kindness first policy. They just expect people to help in an Air B&B without any special access to utility of the home. Just an implied expectation of being put to work for someone else’s interests. Whatever this is? It must be a plan to worsen the exploitation existing comfortably in Capitalism already. Or in other words?

A literal scam. Yep I compromised on the fact I am not supposed to live in a place that bans me from having overnight guests if I pay rent. (This is why I look at places with my brother from now on.) The idea is to pay rent and have some independence. Not to pay rent and live romantically abstinent!

What happened to me? From living in a cool stoner house in Belleville Ontario with actual cool people. To living in a Communal Air B&B on a street where human beings will literally sometimes take shits on. Yes I am saying this set up is dirty, gross & weird is simply an understatement. Also I think it is also driven me crazy renting the room across from this…

Construction

Not ruling this out: The construction project across the road has been waking me up at the crack of dawn for quite some time. I will say a lot of my time in this place has made me question if my sanity is slipping between my fingers. Lets just bare in mind most days I wake up to bad dreams of chainsaws masquerading as the construction noises across the road. There is a very real possibility that this has played a huge role in my loss of sanity at this address. Just saying, do not rule it out!

Positive notes to self for the way out and moving forward. I quit smoking tobacco again although it seems like a good way to tell if I am in my personal hell to an outsider is for them to just see me with a cigarette. If Ashton Deroy is holding a tobacco cigarette you can literally assume I am saying, “Fuck it I’d rather be dead.” When have I ever hidden that?  What am I afraid I am saying by writing it? The negative effects of cigarettes are taught in elementary school. That is just an objective truth about most people who smoke now. On some level they are choosing an action that at some point after done long enough will kill them. Although through overcoming loneliness & seeking company with other adults. I will survive and I will quit smoking.