Imagine for a minute if you will a family whose morality stems from a higher power, puritanical beliefs and racism. Now imagine that family suppresses your mixed gender identity, Wicca & Political opinions. You become a stealth member of psychological manipulation. Not to mention you have a Me Too story you outlined in an affidavit. I AM A MYSTICAL GOD!
Since this is the utmost honest. The data is available and being presented with integrity. I am asking Google to remove the index for www.Ashtonderoy.ca . To my personal beliefs it is blasphemy and slander of a Communist Wiccan God.
Ashton Deroy writes: I don’t think it is going to surprise any of my readers to learn that I can be a little self-obsessed. Or that I am too big for my britches. If you are someone who takes on challenges you can never beat, or you think karma is your own personal justice. Maybe you think god has taken time for a personal relationship to you or a personal interest in you.
In essence the world & therefore the Universe does not revolve around you. None of us are so important we should harm democracy, the environment and the Social Responsibility of the societies we continue to wish to live in. Instead we must find a way to serve society from the collectives we wish to participate in. For example if the family you want to be around votes progressively, you probably should become a progressive if you wish to further that relationship. The problem with thinking the Universe revolves around you & overdosing on individualism is it puts you in a position where you are inaccessible for others. This is where the law, politics & written word become important unifies societies. Versus an individual stance on karma as appropriated by North American society falls short more as a self-indulgent manifestation to take joy in someone’s suffering.
Our massive egos hinder us, they don’t empower us. Protecting a high & mighty ego at the expense of reality is a daunting task. In my family this has resulted in people who are too self-important to work, attend education or even use a social program to for help to find employment. No shots can be taken to the ego & the possibility one of these unemployed idiots might be entirely wrong is viewed as absurd in their eyes. To everyone else it is shared in their collective back talking which the egotistical narcissist can’t even fathom as a fact of life. The fact of life being (If you fall short in morality, work or any responsibility. People are going to judge you in a place that is away from your awareness in a way that breaks away from tyranny.)
Believe it or not I don’t greet everyday with a smile, some affirmations and an anti-depressant. I am functionally miserable. This includes self-actualizing as an autistic adult then realizing just because I exist does not mean people will automatically validate me & treat me with respect. That being said I attended ENSS as one of the few gay people in 2012. I can scrap when I need to, prove someone is wrong & use social politics.
Here are 8 Steps I believe will help you defeat your self-obsession:
Choose between, There is no god or God has better things to worry about than their personal relationship with you- To defeat your self obsession. Society needs you to choose. Either there is no god or god has better things to worry about than their petty uninteresting relationship with you. Realize things are happening in the world that are larger than your personal crisis. You also have to realize some people may not find what is happening in your life to be interesting. People may find it alarming, concerning, stupid, mundane or you may speak only to be ignored. On the flip side god may find your life to be mundane, stupid, alarming or just ignore you as insignificant.
Realize karma isn’t your personal justice – For me I’d say Karma isn’t my personal justice. I use my blog & when needed my boot (kickboxing). Ultimately this point is just about accepting the fact there is no force in the Universe carrying out your will for what is right & what is wrong. We live in a Nihilistic Universe where we have to make smart decisions & care for our valued individuals in order to survive as a tribe. Essentially you are not the center of the Universe. Consider this, according to Wikipedia Karma is a concept of Indian religions that have just been widely appropriated by obnoxious loose spiritual hipsters with an out of control self-obsession & self-catering view of justice. Origins of Karma https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma
Live by “Reason is a slave to the passions” David Hume – I am one of the few people in my family who passed High School the first time around. I think this quote had a lot to do with it. If I volunteered I volunteered for causes I cared about. Cancer research, LGBT rights & solving world hunger. I am a Socialist at the end of the day. To go further into this, my ex loved to talk with logic & facts constantly. However he was an empty book when it came to passion. He had no passionate morals, he was the worst kind of atheist who used a philosophy that allowed him to do whatever he wanted. He was self-obsessed, selfish & even worse empty inside.
Don’t bore smart people with stupid issues – We need to go back to a society that recognizes the merit in Hard Workers and the Educated. We need to spend our time with the higher minds of society in a way that is meaningful and rewarding to them. That is just the basic tenant of a meritocracy. To use an example from my life, my brother is a nurse. We like to watch wrestling together, but we are at a stage now where Kyle only wants to watch the high quality performances. He doesn’t want to see stupid gimmicks & tired old story lines. Or another example, my aunt is in the army. When I see her? I actively choose not to bore her with stupid Hippie issues. They just would not interest her most of the time. You want to acknowledge the preferences of the person you are with & cater your interaction to them around that.
Consider the opinions of others. Even if you do not agree – I am not a Conservative. I am a Socialist, but I understand the values of Conservatism quite well. That is because I am not actually closed off to my ideals the way some people idealize I am. Of course I had Conservative friends in college! I went to school for Business after all. If I didn’t remain tolerant and open minded to their ideals, I would of deteriorated every conversation to a screaming match.
Respect yourself without worshiping yourself – I have learned there is a big difference between respecting yourself and acknowledging you are entitled to basic rights & an opinion. Versus telling people you are a genius or even telling people you are smart when you are not… “I am sorry to say if all you do for your intellectual diet is watch shit-posting videos on YouTube & play Fortnite you are an idiot!” You need to participate in active intellectual activities. I recommend audio-books for people who need to tune up their brains.
Don’t talk on & on about yourself – No one is so interesting they should feel the need to do this. I am not opposed to saying “Shut up, you are annoying!” I mean there are certain people who ought to be invoiced for using your conversational time in a selfish way. Stop using people as a toilet for your life story. Many people just are not interesting enough where they should actively practice excessively discussing themselves.
Always remember civility is an illusion – Everyone is acting a part society has convinced them to play. When it comes down to it? We are over grown aggressive primates. A lot of people go around thinking, “Everyone else should be civil but I get to be a complete jerk.” Civility is an illusion, if you want to throw down there are a lot of people who don’t mind ripping off the disguise placed on them by civilization and kicking you in your stupid head! Everyone thinks this mental illness epidemic came out of nowhere, but I truly believe it is just humanity re-loading their primitive roots. Things have gotten too complicated & too stupid. Many people seem ready to jump out in to the open and act like stupid feral primates again. I personally think I can put on civility for 10 hours a day to go out & work. After I am done though I go back to being a monkey who wants to exercise by running, dancing, boxing & loving.
If you are reading this and you can process the fact that you are self-obsessed you need to start getting over yourself immediately. You need to actualize how small & insignificant you are. Once you begin to actualize yourself you can begin to improve yourself. From there we can move in the direction of bettering ourselves & realizing the fact that many of us need to make ourselves smaller for the interests of the collective. Stop making yourself a big deal, go to work, the gym or even go get your high school diploma. Stop being a moron!
Ashton Deroy Writes: Have you ever met someone so pig headed, they would let you criticize our public banking system before they let you criticize them for having, for example $8,000 in debt? That would be the case for me in dealing with one of my family’s narcissists. What is a narcissist?
Some people think I qualify as a narcissist because I write blogs. However I don’t think the world runs around me & as I will point out to anyone who spends enough time with me, I hate myself. However I am talking about someone who is so truly delusional in narcissistic behaviors, I could at times buy in to what they said. Although that has faded over time. Now I am mesmerized by the display of constantly unhealthy behavior, while keeping a healthy distance and doing some healthy introspection on top of it.
Ever met a couple where one of the people in the couple has a sole purpose of making sure the other doesn’t crash the car well drunk? This reminds me of this narcissist’s girlfriend or sometimes the “enabler”. The thin line of co-existence & codependency is met by the fact he has interfered with her ability to keep a job, take care of her daughter & function. Meanwhile when she had a job and he didn’t he have no problem asking her for the money for weed. I repeat, “enabler”. I said, I use them to introspect and this is partially why I don’t want my boyfriend to buy me weed.
How to distance yourself from the narcissist?
Lie– When they call? Say you have stuff to do.
Tell Harsh truths- Just as effective as lying because when the narcissist has taken too big a blow on their ego they will back off. (If they are not violent)
Don’t let them control the schedule– They always want to suck you back in to their world. Always state why you are busy or indifferent to their plans.
I use all of these tips to deal with the family narcissist because getting sucked in is not an option.
Three things we can’t really say to this family narcissist:
You need a job – You are behind on your bills and can’t afford food half the time. Again you have $8,000 in debt.
Go get medical help – You have serious mental health and addictions issues. Yet you do not address them
Treat your mother & sister with respect – How is it you have slut shamed one & called the other a whore?
Anyways I saw this narcissist last night in Stirling Ontario & as of now at Loyalist College. I am glad it is over.
Check out the Narcissist’s Dilemma written by Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. Published October 12th 2011.